Family isn’t always defined by blood. My aunt and uncle are my parents’ best friends, and their kids — my cousins — are proof that chosen family can be just as real. Ever since my cousin Pam and I we were little, we've been super close. And now in our adult lives we've always made an effort to stay present, even though we've lived in different states.

She was always a bit ahead of me, landing her first real job and buying her first house. I took mental note of her milestones and adopted them as my life goals, adding buying a house on my own to the top of that list. Even when we were far apart, she always checked in, offered me nonjudgmental and honest advice, and gave me those invaluable heads ups having experienced big life moments just a few years ahead of my timeline.

After I graduated college, she helped me get a job in my field. She was always on the lookout, sending me job postings that matched my skills and that she thought would genuinely spark my interest. One of those ended up being my first job as a graphic designer and the start of my career. She believed in me before I believed in myself, which gave me the boost I needed to start building my life and achieving my goals.

I recently went to Disney World with her and her family, and it made me think about how much we’ve grown together. Watching her raise four boys with so much patience and humor showed me how strong she is. An outsider might look at all that she has on her plate and wonder how she could handle everything – her job, her family, her numerous animals, but regardless of any outside pressures or opinions, she stayed true to what she wanted and made her own way.

Last year, Pam officiated my wedding. It made sense to have someone who's been there for me through everything guide me into this new part of my life. I couldn't think of anyone better to have up there with me and in my mind, there was no one else in the running for that important position.

She's always quietly reminded me that success isn't one big thing; it's about the little things you choose to do every day. Our paths may have diverged in some ways, but she remains someone I deeply admire and emulate.

Life can surprise you with mentors – people who change you, challenge you, and give you something to look up to. Sometimes, they're the family you choose, not the family you're born with, and they show up when you need them most. I'm so lucky that she's always been that person for me.