I’ve been in mortgage operations for over 20 years. I can’t remember when or where I first heard the term work/life balance — probably back when I was raising my first child as a single mom. The idea of balancing the two still strikes me as odd. Like I have the ability to choose how much time I put toward one or the other. The fact of the matter is, I give 100% to both. I think most women are like that. Not because we have to be, but because we want to be. It feeds our sense of fulfillment and self-worth. Of course, my family will always come first — that’s why I work so hard. As the primary breadwinner, my career is essential to my ability to provide for them. I also love what I do and my professional Deephaven family. So, for me, it’s not about prioritizing one over the other. The challenge is how to maximize the 24 hours in each day into being my most effective self. It’s logistics. Being an operations leader helps a lot.  

Over the years, I’ve become a big fan of routines as the basis for living a happy, productive life. When I was a single mom, I religiously set aside one day per weekend for meal planning and cleaning and the other for fun. Not only did this ensure I kept up with the housework, but meal planning also gave me back time before and after work by making it easy to get food on the table quickly. It also helped with budgeting and minimized the time I spent wandering through the aisles at the grocery store. Then on the off-day, I could really enjoy my time with my young daughter, free from the pressures of running the house and feeding us. To this day, performing routines brings me a sense of calm with the feeling that I’m in complete control of my life even if it’s not exactly true. 

Now developing routines is so second nature that I don’t have to even think about them. I just do them. One is carefully planning out my upcoming schedule before my week begins. It’s a bit like being an air traffic controller making sure I know where I and everyone else should be at any given time on each day. I do this knowing full well there will be disruptions — work and family-related. If what looks like a 40-hour work week on Monday turns into a 60-hour work week by Friday (or Saturday), that’s fine. It's much easier to pivot and manage the unexpected when you have routines in place to keep the rest of your life moving forward — especially routines that involve the help of others like carpooling or running status meetings. 

“I give 100% to both my family and my career—because I want to, not because I have to.”

After routines, I think developing a healthy attitude toward the unexpected is important. The trick is knowing that no matter what happens at home or at work, I’ll be able to figure it out. That’s what women do best. We figure it out. Again, my experience years ago as a single, working mom was the best practical education I could have had for becoming the most resourceful person in my life that I could rely on. Yes, building a network of friends, colleagues, other parents and care providers was absolutely critical. But first I had to develop the confidence in my own ability to successfully field the daily curveballs. Knowing you can create order out of chaos when the unexpected happens isn’t just reassuring. It’s affirming and over time can be downright energizing. 

It’s also why I highly recommend women pursue careers in mortgage operations. While there’s structure to it, things are constantly changing, including guidelines, compliance, technology, and repercussions from natural disasters. It is never boring and the constant need to adjust and solve problems is a skillset where women can shine. This reason, and the opportunity for growth, is why more and more of us are filling leadership positions in mortgage operations. 

Here's a great example. There was no anticipating major disruptions like we had last year. I live in the Southeast and work remotely. When the hurricanes hit, we went into full-tilt emergency mode. Our priority is to protect our borrowers, our wholesale partners, and correspondent lenders when any disaster strikes. 

“Developing routines brings me a sense of calm, even if I’m not in complete control of everything.”

I manage six operations managers who in turn manage a team of 25 people. When these situations occur, it is always a massive pivot off our daily processing and workflows. Every morning for a number of weeks, I read FEMA reports and held meetings with my managers. Our teams were working 24/7 to assess damage, property by property, to determine the best course of action for each loan in progress. 

It’s one thing for me to be able to tell you that I’ve got my life set up to be flexible. For me to be able to count on our entire ops team to rearrange their lives for the sake of our borrowers, partners, and lenders speaks to the culture and the very heart of Deephaven. 

We all pulled together and got it done. Not just my team at work but also my home team — my husband, who is a stay-at-home dad, and my 4-year-old, who took it all in stride and didn’t get upset when Mom went into her home office and closed the door for four hours on a Sunday afternoon. Their ability to embrace the unexpected was as important as mine. It’s still important at the end of every month when things get fast and furious as we push to meet all our closing deadlines. Yes, those last 10 days are inevitably fraught with problems and issues that have to be resolved right away. But we’ve come to expect the unexpected. Even disruption can become routine. 

“Knowing you can create order out of chaos isn’t just reassuring—it’s affirming and can be downright energizing.”

Finally, I’m a big believer in setting boundaries. My son knows that my office is off-limits and that he can’t just open the door and come in when I’m working. It not only protects my ability to focus my time on my job, but it’s also good for him to realize he can’t always be at the center of my universe. By the same token, there are certain events in his life that I refuse to miss, like field trips and reward ceremonies at school. Those are precious. If I miss them, I am not going to get those moments back. 

I think the hardest part of all this is making time for myself. Women are so programmed to make sure everyone else is taken care of that we forget that we need to take care of ourselves, too. For me, self-care is about looking after my own physical well-being. I’ll get up early and do a workout or use my walking pad when I’m reviewing routine work stuff. Also, I have a must-show dinner once a month with my best girlfriends. Listening and sharing our latest news, supporting each other as we go through challenges, or simply chiming in with observations and advice — it’s a therapy session. My friendships with these women sustain me along with the support from my family. 

While my chosen career path is a busy one that requires juggling many responsibilities, it comes with the gratification of knowing I am helping borrowers get into homes. I feel the joy of that milestone. They might be buying a home in a school district they’ve dreamed of, or they need a nursery, a bigger yard or pool for growing kids. It’s an exciting transaction and being part of that is fulfilling.